hell yes lets make some ravioli
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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