i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
