Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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