Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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