All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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