I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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