If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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