roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
