Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
