And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
