Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
