Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
