I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
