I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
