What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
