The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
