You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
