If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
