I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
