Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
