why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
