I'm jealous of your bromance
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Someone shit on the floor
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
