I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
