Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
