But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
