Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
false alarm. still invincible.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
