hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
