that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
