I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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