Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
