He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
