i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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