apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
