He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
