Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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