It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
