Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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