You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
