Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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