Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
