Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
