Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
