He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
