He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
