You really coming over, don't trick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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