YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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