I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
