i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize