On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
