So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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