pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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