I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just invented taco cereal.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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