So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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