john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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