I CAN MOONWALK!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My vagina is officially offended.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
