Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
