well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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