I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
