so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
