she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
its liver damage thursday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
