my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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