u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize