Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
