Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The air taste purple.
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