I feel like abortions should bother me more
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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